I am my Beloved's and he is mine

Yesterday, I celebrated my third wedding anniversary. It's amazing how quickly the time has gone by. Three years ago, I had no idea what it would mean to keep my wedding vows. Oh, sure, I meant them, but living them out is a whole different idea.

Somehow, we've managed to get through all of our vows in the first year alone, and have continued that trend for the subsequent two. For better or for worse- check. For richer, for poorer- Dave Ramsey, anyone? In sickness and in health- been there, done that. To love and to cherish- to love and to cherish? You mean, as much as I love and cherish myself? Love my husband like Christ loves the Church- totally, unconditionally, willing-to-die-for-you? Love my husband even when I'm so frustrated I can't see straight?

If I've learned anything in this last year, it's how loving and cherishing Ryan is an act of obedience and respect to Jesus. Feeling love is not enough. I need to choose to love Ryan every day of my life, whether I feel like loving him or not. As the character Michael Simmons in the movie "Fireproof" points out, "And don't just follow your heart, because your heart can be deceived. But you've got to lead your heart." I need to beg God every day to teach me how to be a good wife. Every day, I need to learn how to die to myself- my "rights" and my "needs"- in order to serve my God and my husband.

God meant marriage to be for life. When most people say "for better or for worse", they mean only the "for better" part. I'm willing to die to myself for my marriage to succeed. In the eyes of the world, such talk is crazy, at best. But, as the Bible says, "the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing. But to us who are being saved it is the power of God." (1 Corinthians 1:18).

I still mean every word of my vows, even though I now have some idea of what it means for them to be fulfilled. I'm excited to see what God will teach us in our fourth year!